Do I have no right to feel bad if my boyfriend wants to go to Malaysia with his 3 girl friends alone?

I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 28. We've been together for 6 months. I already know his friends, we go out in group sometimes and I know them very well.


--------------------------------------鈥?br>

Okay here's the story..


His 3 girl friends were having a break from work in early August; so they planned to go out of the country (MALAYSIA). My bf told me last May that he wanted to go there since he miss going out of the country. I said.. ';it's up to you'; (i dont wanna say ';yes';.. neither say straight ';no';. When girls say the words ';it's up to you'; it just means that the answer is ';no';. I know some guys dont get these lines when gilrs say it.) He said that they're only staying in one room (in 4 days)because one hotel room in Malaysia is expensive (say it's 20k in peso) They're staying in one room so they can divide it into 4, to be cheaper. -Okay fine.. It's really hard to accept all these.-


These are my complains!


Number 1: Yeah, I already know his friends, I trust them and I trust my boyfriend too. I know that they're not gonna do anything that would hurt me. BUT the fact that they are GIRLS and he's the only guy. (He's the only guy when they go out in gimmicks coz they dont have any COMMON guy friend that they know). It sucks to imagine.. to think that they're staying in one room for 4 days.


Number 2: My boyfriend and I see eachother once a week (Saturdays), we go to movies, dinner date etc. But when he decided to go to Malaysia, he keeps on telling me that he has to pay his plane ticket to his friend asap. That he's becoming broke already. That if we can stay to my place during weekends so he can save money. It's okay.. There's nothing wrong in that. BUT. ';Whatever decision he makes, I dont want that we will be affected.'; Come to think of it, let's say, i said yes, okay that he can go to malaysia with her friends, fine with only 1 room. But would you still keep on telling me that.. ';Babe.. Can I just go to your house during weekends coz I'm saving up for the Malaysia trip?'; See... I already gave my left hand and still you're asking me to give my right hand..


I really think very deep... And there's nothing I can do. NOTHING. I told him.. okay. But just one favor.. Dont ever tell me about that Malaysia crap, I dont wanna hear it. he didnt liked it, he said that he would look stupid.


I told him that why do u have to go there? is this for your friends?


He said, no. This is for me. I want to enjoy..


I said.. Then Why do u have to go if you know that you u'd be broke, Why didnt you just save more money and go there in summer..


He said, if i have that money in summer then who's gonna come with me?


I said. You already said it to yourself, this is for you. Not for you friends.. I dont know how to tell my complain number 2 to him by not looking materialistic.. I dont want him to think that I'm only after the dates etc.. My only point is ';whatever decision he makes, i dont want that we will be affected';


I dont really know now.. But when I asked him if I can go to movies with my guy friends, he said no. I asked him why? We're not gonna do anything there.. We're just gonna watch, we're in public.. there's nothing really wrong coz our intention is really plain good. He said, yeah you and you're friends only gonna watch. But.. What will people think of you when youre in a group of guys? I said.. What? We dont care what people will think as long as we're not doing anything wrong. Same to you right? We're in public, how bout you? You're in just one room. It's really unfair.. I mean why can't you let me...





There.. I really dont know what to do.. Guys please help me...


I dont know who's right and wrong.. I dont know if im the wrong one.. that i should just shut my mouth.. I'm not jealous of his friends, really.


I cant accept it wholeheartedly.


Should i show that it's okay, that i already accepted it like for an example he show me their pictures and i will show that im interested 'fakingly' so he wont be hurt, but im the one who's hurting inside?


or when he's telling stories about their trip, i'll put my headphones in my ears but at least i showed my true emotions but he's the one hurt? It really bothers me everytime.. I just dont want to open this up to him.. Coz we're just gonna fight.. And i will just look like i'm the one who's wrong...








I already asked him that kind of question. He said he wont let me go. He said that there's a big difference between a girl and a boy. For an example, I go out with guy friends and i'm the only girl there, (he said that there's a big possibility that something would happen 'you know') And when he go out with his girl friends nothing would really happen.. coz he's not going to do anything. Why is he like that? I know my friends , I trust them, they're not gonna do anything wrong to me.. Is it really wrong to see 5 guys with 1 girl watching a movie/playing dota/eating together.. Does she look like a whore? How about 3 girls and 1 guy going out.. Is he a gay? See..








He's already booked. And there's nothing I can do. Breaking him up or not, he's still gonna go.


Do I have no right to feel bad if my boyfriend wants to go to Malaysia with his 3 girl friends alone?
.....hhahahahaha China has 1.3 'billion' people to feed just now


....how did that happen?Do I have no right to feel bad if my boyfriend wants to go to Malaysia with his 3 girl friends alone?
since you obviously don't trust him, then maybe you should dump him and move on...
Wow that was really long :) .. Anyway.Your a lot nicer than i would have been. No way would i ever let my boyfriend go on vacation with 3 girls. Ok and about how he's gonna wanna come home after the trip and talk about it. I think that you should listen. Its gonna look from his point of view that because you didnt get what you wanted (him not going) your gonna act immature till noone it happy.and that wont end well whats done is done. Plus when boys cheat there not gonna talk about it with their girlfriends so the more he talks about it the safer you can feel that he didnt do anything wrong. oh and how he wont let you go out with your male friends. i think thats stupid.if He has female friends then you can have male friends. Stand up for yourself on that one . and who care what other people think.
Believe me, you should be very happy there are only staying in one room, that way there's no chance any naughty stuff can happen.
sounds like a double standard to me.





anyway, just let him go...but if he opportunity arrises for you to do the same thing, he has no right to say, 'no'





If you let him, he will bully you.
If I were you, I wld go with him. If you cant, then give him the liberty. Whatever is going to happen will happen? Why worry? Time will tell. Then you can make your decision if things happen that show that you cannot trust him anymore.
I really appreciate u r effort of putting all that ruminations so nicely. it reflects what kind of person u r. Dont be afraid u r doing fine.first of all, i agree with u r bf's comment on going film with 5 of u r guys. he is right to some extent in that but i would be more satisfied if he follows the same rule because he may be right with his own reasons about his malaysian trip but there r few things beyond resons, for example, he needs to consider u r feelings beyond reasons. trust me, nothing will go wrong in that trip of u r bf, that is for true, because normally three girls could not do such things unless they r prostitutes. u r fear is reasonless and what u r experiencing is quite natural. what concerns me is if u r bf is kind of going behind facts and reasons, then he may not give u a good emotional support for which one has to be truely understanding beyond reasons and arguments, which i doubt that u r bf will do. so Dont try to say yes if u want to say no. NOBODY WILL HURT U UNLESS U ALLOW. SO TRY TO BE AS OPEN AS POSSIBLE and dont hang on to such relationships where one side suffering becomes a routine.
if this dude plays DOTA he totally pwns at life, so you're going to want to keep him.