First of all, I am shocked by how many people are saying that you are controlling. I think you absolutely have the right to voice opinions about a vacation that you had hoped would be a romantic getaway with your new husband. My husband and I have been married for 4 yrs and he is currently deployed. When he gets back in 4 more months we are going on a mini 2 day vacation to the beach. We are leaving the kids with a babysitter and going to re-connect. I would be very dissappointed if he wanted one of his buddies and his girlfriend (who I openly dislike) to come. It is your vacation too so tell him again how important to you it is and what a downer it will be to have another couple hanging around all the time. The only thing you are guilty of is wanting your husbands attention on a newlywed vacation...come on people...doesn't she have that right?Please Help! Husband wants to invite his best friend and his best friends girl friend on our vacation?
Your husband is being totally selfish, and this is just crazy. He should want to have a vacation with his wife with no disturbances, and it is wrong of him to try and force you to hang out with someone that you don't feel comfortable around. You need to explain this to him. Since you are newly weds, you need to get that quality time together, and you have plenty of time to invite friends later on vacations.
Your husband sounds immature and not ready for marriage. He should be looking at this vacation as a romantic get-away for you both to connect and enjoy life together. You need to really talk to him about it. If he insists on bringing his friends then let him know this is fine but someone has to stay with the dogs and seems that he would rather have a vacation with friends instead of you then you might as well be the dog sitter.
I think your afraid she may want to put her paws on YO MAN... Very valid concern dear. I would put my foot down and be a b****...Hey men respect women who don't allow themselves to be stepped on! It's you and your hubby's vacation and do you really want to be hanging around his best bud and his trampy girlfriend? Come on now!
Good Luck!
well hes being selfish but so are you.
let him know that you would enjoy doing things alone with him as a couple but if yall can spend a evening alone the two of yall go out on a date night then you should allow them to go it could be fun. aand domt judge dudes girl because of her past move on
Tell him you want to bring some of your friends also pick the ones you know he doesn't like haha.
I hate to stir up trouble, but Im gonna say it: Why would a husband not want a private vacation with his newlywed wife?
Let them come along. It could be alot of fun with more than just the two of you. ((:
Let me guess, the girlfriend is HOT.
Daniel can come but not the g/f! how controlling of you.
Let them go along - stay in separate quarters...then you can do things together and separately. Really, it is nice for the guys to be able to do things they like together. We vacation with my sis and BIL and the guys go golfing - we go shopping or to a museum...It's nice to have time alone together but to also be able to share time together.
Also - you can't get a hold of ANY of his family in Indiana? I really find that hard to believe...if you want to nip the whole thing in the bud - start working harder to go visit his hometown!
If Daniel is your husband's best friend you will need to look past his indiscretions and not judge what he and his girlfriend did. That said, it might be too soon for you to go on vacation with them if you're not ready to forgive. So talk to your husband and work it out between you two. Just realize that you will have to be supportive of Daniel always or risk harming the relationship you have with your husband.
You need to speak with him again. Let him know straight out the situation you have just explained, and even if you talked to the gf twice, you don't like her because she has no respect for relationships at all to have done what she did, and she is not the kind of person you want to be around on a vacation that is suppose to be for the two of you. Tell him that you were agreeing to go to indiana and spend time with his family, but since that fell through, the two of you should just enjoy each other. Maybe you can have have his bestfriend and his gf over for a bar-b-que when you get back, but you would like to enjoy this time alone. Also bring up the fact about having to pay for a dog sitter. He should understand he is your husband, and he should have more respect for your feelings.
You compromise on things. Is there another friend or relative that can watch the dogs (maybe pay them half of what a kennel will charge).
Also you need to sit down and set some guidelines for the 4 of you - you don't have to do EVERYTHING together; but you should have some alone time and some couple's time.
Stop being selfish. Its not your anniversary yet, its a vacation with friends. If you have this attitude now, what's it gonna be like in 10 yrs (if you are still together).
Marriage is about compromise, communication, and working out small problems - better start doing that.
Your husband should have made a request that he would like them to come along and when you were adament about them not coming, he should put his wife first. He is being selfish. I say you decided not to go with him but you'll be going to the KEYS with one of your girlfriends while he watches the dogs (and see how he likes selfish). Good luck to you!
Why don't you suggest this trip to be a second honey moon? Say you want this time for just the two of you, say you want to be selfish and don't want to have to share him. Paint a little picture for him, warm weather, beautiful scenery, sand, ocean, drinks, bikinis, just you and him. Suggest getting a honeymoon suite if that is something you can afford even if it is just for one night before you switch into a more reasonably priced room for the rest of your stay. Something romantic, hot tub, big bed.
Make the trip something exciting for him. Try only to focus on positive things. If you tell him that you don't want his friends there and nag about the negative, he might become resentful. So make it something that he wants. Why would he want his friends there if you are offering him everything he could want just him and you.
If you are okay with Daniel going I don't understand you frustration with his girlfriend. Okay she was married and cheating (with Daniel) he is just as guilty. However, it is not your place to be their moral compass. You do not have to approve what they have done. However, if you say yes Daniel can come along but not the girlfriend you are going to be spending time with Daniel and your husband, you will be the third wheel in this adventure. If Daniel must attend the vacation then you would certainly want to bring along his girlfriend to keep you company when the boys run off and leave you alone. As well stop judging her and not Daniel. Do not judge either one however recognize that they are both at fault and it is none of your business. How is she any more wrong than him?
Anyway, I would sit down and have a long talk with my husband if I were you and simply explain that you would like some one on one time with him minus his friend. And Daniel can and is willing to stay behind and keep the dogs which is (much needed). Open and honest communication. However, keep the relationship out of your conversation it is none of your business and you will end up arguing with your husband about something that is no concern to you or him.
A quick way out...first, don't worry about what another girl does or does not do. It will frustrate you to no end. You will never be able to understand and the hate will eat you up.
Second, to make things work smoothly, as he apparently has fixed this particular trip to include friends (which is not a bad thing if you both agree of course), let him know you agree to it, but only if he plans another vacation for just the two of you.
Since all of this came up in the instant, with apparently not much time for planning, make your alone vacation one that is planned and understood. Standing your ground on this one may seem like the right thing to do, and if you MUST have your way on it, then stick to your guns, but if you want to harmony, you may give this one to him and take the next one. It would help create mutual respect and is a sign you will stand by each other, even when it gets dicey!
Ahhh so this has nothing to do with Daniel and the dogs. It has to do with Daniel's girlfriend. Got it! Look I'm sure you want time with him alone. I know I would want to be with just my wife but that's me. Now I do have a couple friends and my wife does not like their girlfriends or wives...you know you women are unbelievable. The crap us men have to put up with...... sorry where was I.... well anyway. I know she doesn't like them but the guys are my friends and I did stick to my guns. Pretty much a made her be around them when I envited them or she will be very lonely because I will not give in. She had no excuse not be around them unless they are harmful to her (which is not the case) She had to learn to deal with it and she did. i had to learn when I shouldn't invite them and I did. We had to establish a commen ground. So this guy going with you guys is very important because if your husband gives in now. He feels this will always happen... and it will as long as he lets it. So he's establishing his ground with his friend. So I would tell him that you don't want them to go and that you don't feel you have to give in...... that you have a right to just want to be with your husband. Then tell him that you will not go if they go and thats it. Just as he's establishing his ground...well so do you. Stand firm with the decision and don't go if he doesn' agree. It may cause a lot of crap but in the end he will think twice before doing it again.
So long story short: make a decision and stick to it...
Wow, your really controlling. I think that you shouldn't judge Daniels girlfriend for anything since it's really none of your business. And if you say Daniel can come but not his girlfriend, well that's not your place either. This vacation isn't just selfishly about you and your hubby, you shouldn't be so demanding. Make your husband happy, have a blast and stop being so selfish.
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