Should I not let my daughter be friends with this girl?

My 8th-grade daughter has been good friends for the past year with another girl in her school. My daughter gets straight A's, is very responsible and an all-round great kid. The problem I have is, her friend's dad just got out of jail after being sentenced to 60 days for possession of meth.





I am extremely uncomfortable about this situation. I absolutely do not want my daughter around this girl's dad. While he was still in jail, I thought about how I would handle the situation. I decided that my daughter could remain friends with this girl, but was not allowed to be at her house if her dad was home.





This condition has put my daughter in a very uneasy position. Her friend's dad just got out of jail so the issue hasn't arisen as of yet. But how can my daughter tactfully tell her friend that she is not allowed to be around her dad? Also, this girl's house is the ';hangout'; place for the entire group of friends, and none of the other parents seem to have a problem with their daughters being around this girl's dad. I know I need to do what's right for my daughter, but am I being too harsh?Should I not let my daughter be friends with this girl?
I am with you, for I know that dad might be the type who feels he did nothing wrong. I would speak with one of her freind's parents and see how they feel about the situation, so you can gain an insight as to why they are apparently not bothered by it.





I would not want to squelch this friendship, but i woudl give fair warning: if it is discovered that dad still possesses or is using while everyone is there, that stop the visits dead forever.Should I not let my daughter be friends with this girl?
Well, since nothing has happened yet, there probably isn't a problem. But if your daughter starts to feel uncomfortable around him or anything at all then she should immediately tell you and stop. I'm sorry if this didn't help, but my advice would be wait and then get your daughter away before something way too horrible happen that can not be fixed. If you feel it is right to keep your daughter away then you should of course do it.
I don't think you are being too harsh, you are trying to protect your child from a potentially harmful situation. Meth is a very serious and deadly drug and I wouldn't want my child to be hanging around a drug house. Maybe you could open your home to these kids, at least you'd know they were safe.


It is sad that because of an adults behaviour or misbehaviour a friendship hangs in the balance.
i think your daughter is old enough to be told the truth. just tell her why you are uncomfortable with her going over there. she will either understand or she won't but at least you won't have to hear her whining wondering why she can't.





this is also a good opportunity to talk to your daughter about the consequences of drugs and personal responsibility within the law.
Just to let you know, a person would never know what an apple taste like until he takes a bite of it.





Let your daughter solve things by herself. Even if something good or bad happens, she will understand and learn from it. You won't know something until you experience it, even if you tell someone about something, they won't understand until they experience it themselves. Would you?
if your daughter is a straight A student and she respects the way you have brought her up then you should not need to ban her from going round there she sounds intelligent enough to work that one out for herself.
I don't believe it's too harsh, but perhaps tell her that she isn't allowed to go to other people's houses, or she can go for a few hours, but not a sleep over.
You should let her continue being with this friend but maybe to help keep her in the group without having her around this girls dad, u shud invite the group round to your house so she can be in a safe environment without losing face.
have you actually spoken to the other girls parents? maybe they don;t know. I wouldn't allow my children to visit the home, it's a hard one, wishing you all the best
By the sounds of things, your daughter should be smart enough to not join in on anything, do you know if this friend is a junkie?
Not harsh at all.





Maybe u can open your home instead to be their ';hangout'; place.
You have every right to tell your daughter she can not go over to her friends house if her dad is around. You are her mother and you definitely need to do what you feel is best for her. But since this guy just got out of jail, I have a couple questions. Does he have a close relationship with his daughter? Because if he does then he would probably be around your daughter as well and you don't want that. Is he even going to be staying at the friends house? Perhaps he and the friends mom are divorced and he lives across town - away from the friend and your child. So those are just some things to think about. At the end of the day if you feel your daughter is in a bad situation being around this guy then you need to do what you feel is right.
Just because the father was guilty of a crime doesn't mean the daughter is just as guilty. I really thought we dropped the whole notion of ';guilt my association';. Anyway. The situation is out of your control. If your daughter wants to be friends with her, then she will be friends with her no matter what you do. Really, what you should have done is get her attitude and her friend's attitude towards drugs in general. If your daughter is repulsed by drugs, but the friend isn't, then she might try it due to curiosity, and the new found experience. If they are both repulsed by drugs, and the friend is ashamed of her father's behavior, then good chance nothing will come out of it. Besides, how much do you know of the specific details of the father's crime? If you don't know many of the specifics, you could be making the situation worse by adding in your own fears, prejudices, etc, etc
Wow that's a tough one... allow your teenage daughter to be around someone who chances are has meth on them and is high or put your foot down and tell her she can not go hang out around there anymore.





I'd go even further and say she is not to go round that house at all, if the dad lives there still then there will be drug paraphernalia and chances are drugs in the house regardless of whether he is there or not.





Have you thought about opening your doors and letting her and her gang hang out at your place?
I have some food for thought.





When I was growing up my parents where very specific on what we'd watch on TV. The rest of her family thought she's nuts. She didn't just allow us to hang out with any crowd either.





10 years later I look back and realise the destruction the lack of parenting caused in my cousins lives.





My one cousin died of a drug overdose at age 15, his sister hits on anything called a guy and parties like crazy and hangs with a hippy crowd. Their brother turned out better than both but doesn't have much of a sense of direction ( guess that's because of the divorce).





My other cousin always got her way and never became self-sustaining. She's been living with my other aunt until age 25 and couldn't hold a job. She became addicted to all kinds of drugs and eventually wasted her whole inheritance from her dad's side on this.





Just because everybody does it doesn't mean its the right thing to do. Guess you'll have to meet the other dad and decide over a period of time if he's a changed man or still into the drug scene.
No, you aren't being too harsh. It is dangerous for her to be hanging around him. With only 60 days in jail, how do you know that he isn't going to start doing drugs in the other room while your daughter is at their house? Just have your daughter tell her that she has a family commitment and that she is sorry and that if she wanted to come over to your house some other time, that she could check. You should still let them be friends at school and at your house, though.
8th grade, hmmm, that means about 14 years old? Anyway, follow your gut instincts on this. I believe that you absolutely SHOULD NOT allow your daughter over there anymore, ever. The dad is a meth addict and they don't stop on their own. Just like someone else said, he could be in another room smoking meth while the kids are there, or he could be encouraging them to do it. I know that may sound far fetched but I found out after the fact from my daughter that her friends dad asked her to smoke crack with him. My daughter was probably 16 at the time. You need to sit down and explain it to your daughter, maybe even to the friend also if you're comfortable with that and can be sensitive to the girls' feelings. If your daughter puts up a strong fight, that is more proof that you shouldn't allow her over there. The heck with the other kids and making your place a ';hang-out';. Been there, done that, it sucks!~ Bottom line, you are NOT being too harsh. Like I said, follow your instincts. And do the other parents know about the dad's meth addiction?
no you are not bieng harsh...I am 13..and I will not go to her house...Maybe your daughters friends could hang out in you house and your daughters close friend too....It is so dangerous





CONSEQUENCES


1. **(insert your daughters name here), Hey lets try this white stuff!!**...**No its dangerous!**...**ive seen my dad doing it before**


Then she begins taking drugs...which destroys her straight A's....And her perfect furture...


DO not!!!!...No one is too young...There is nothing like bieng to harsh..you have priorities in your household and you her her mother..she has to oblige...tell her she and her friend can hang out anywhere But his house.